Shay's Story


Betrayals of PASTORS???
-Shay



My name is Shay. I was a victim of a rape situation. I was victimized when I was 12 years old by my own PREACHER!!!

As I said before, I was 12 years old. I really trusted this man. He was a preacher, but please, don't let occupations mislead you. Anyway, it happen during my 7th grade spring break. My uncle, aunt, and cousin was staying with me, my ma, and my brother. He came over that day, because my uncle went fishing wit him and he was bringing my uncle home. The next day, he came to give me driving lessons. Yes, he taught me how to drive. No, I never sat in his lap. I really didn't want to go but, I went anyway. Bad mistake!

We were driving around Pulaski, a place filled with dirt roads to practice on and near where he lived. He told me he needed to check his phone messages. O.K., at this point I'm good, not thinking anything bad could happen. We pull up to his house and I shut off the van. I sit and wait. He said I could come in and wait in the living room. So, I go and wait. He looks at the phone and no messages. THERE WERE NEVER ANY MESSAGES HE HAD TO CHECK!!! WHAT A BASTARD. My knee starts to hurt from all the driving. He decides to go get some icy-hot. I sit waiting as he leaves. I was a little scared, but I never thought anything would happen.

He came back and told me to go in the room. At this point I knew something wasn't rite, but I went anyway. He laid me down and pulled of my clothes. NEVER PUTTING ON THE ICY HOT! As he pulled them down, I was so shocked. I couldn't even move! He then began sucking on my breast and performing oral sex on me. I was so scared! I didn't move or budge, because I thought he would kill me if I did try to run away. I just stared at the ceiling fan, watching it go by and by, fearing for my life more and more. Then he tries to insert his private into mine, but it wouldn't go in. Then he just laid on top of me. I finally had the guts to say, "Aren't we suppose to be driving?" Then he said, "Oh Yea" and got off of me. Then I went in the bathroom and put on my clothes. I was so shocked and down. I could not believe that he would do something like that.

When I came out of the bathroom, he was by the kitchen in this little reading area, holding a bible! He started reading passages to me saying that what I did was wrong. He told am that I was going to have to repent for my sins and all that crap. Then he took me to the back of his yard and BAPTIZED ME BUTT NAKED IN HIS DIRTY, NASTY POND!!!! (He was also naked) Can you believe that? Well believe it, because it's true. The scary part about that was he could have just killed me then and there. He also could have done something very scary to me. I ran back in the house and put on my clothes. He asked me if I wanted to take a shower. I told him, “No!”. Then I drove all the way home.

We arrived at my house and he told me that he loved me and that we needed to keep this between Me, Him, and God! WTF? ME, YOU, AND GOD? He had to be crazy! I got out the car and went in my house. I remember my brother and cousin was sitting in the living room. Then he came in and said he wanted to adopt me. He kissed me on my forehead right in front of my brother and little cousin. He left and I didn't know what to do. I went to the back where my aunt was. I told her I had been baptized. Then I told her that he tried to have sex with me and all hell broke loose.

Of course it was reported, I went to DFACS, and to the hospital. It was all very scary.

Now, he is in jail for 60 years and 30 years probation. He was sentenced March 11, 2008. He was 69 when he raped me. You might as well say he got life. Court was the scariest thing that ever happen to me besides the actual rape. My family was there to support me. My counselor, Mrs. Cheri, was also there to support me as well as protect me, just in case he tried to attack me.

Ever since it happened, I have been very uncomfortable around men. I do not trust any man, not even my own relatives! Isn't that something. All because of what a preacher did to me. I don't even want to have a boyfriend because I'm afraid I will mess it up or that he will take advantage of me.

I started going to counseling. I still go till this day. My counselor has helped me a lot. I thank her so much for it. My preacher really put the “FEAR OF EVERYTHING” into my life. Pathetic rite? For a long time I blamed myself for letting it happen. Then, my counselor told me that it was not my fault in any way.

I'm O.K. now. I just constantly think about sex and I always have flashbacks. I wanted to share my story and that's...MY STORY.

-Shay




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