Sexual Abuse, Assault, and Rape Awareness
I'm 18 years old and I'm currently a senior in high school. These are my stories:
First off, when I was about 7, my next doors neighbor (he was a teenage boy about 16) was riding me on a 4-wheeler when he stopped and shut it off behind a building. He asked me if I knew what French kissing was and I said no. He then further continued to show me, literally. First he started kissing me and I told him that I didn't like it. Then he started feeling me down there and asked if it felt good. I can't recall what I said. Probably because I was terrified and didn't really know what to do. After all I was only 7 and didn't even know what anything like that was. When he finished feeling on me, I felt helpless and asked to go home. He made me promise not to tell anyone, and he repeated himself over and over. When I got home, I hesitated at first then told my mom what happened. I don't know what they did when they went over there, but to my mind It was in the past and I didn't ever want to think about it again.
Then when I was about 15, I went over to my uncles house (he's in the army, you would expect him to save people, not hurt them) to bring him some dinner my mom had cooked. When I came inside he automatically sat me down in front of him on the floor. He sat behind me on the couch. I didn't really know what he was doing. He started to massage my shoulders and back, then he went to my front and started grabbing my breast. He asked if I liked it and I told him to stop and tried to jump up and get out the house. He then forced me back down and said "come on it feels good, doesn't it." I told him no and pushed him away and left the house quickly. I couldn't believe my own UNCLE would do this! I trusted him and thought he was good but I came to find out he was a sicko. I thought it was all over, and I always avoided being alone with him, until he came to my house when I was home by myself. He had a key from my mom because he had to come over and do some computer work. I had no idea he was coming over until he showed up in my living room while I was on the couch. I quickly went to my room and locked the door. He called me back in there because he had some "questions" he needed answered about how the computers been acting up. I went in there for fear that he might get mad. Then he acted like he was play wrestling me but it was just his way to get me pinned on the couch. When he had me down, and I tried to get back up but he was so strong, he tried to slip his hand up my shirt again. He succeeded but only for a short second until I managed to throw him off somehow. After that he tried once more, on another day, but I was smart and pushed him away before he had the chance and I left the room fast. He forced himself on me twice and used his strength to keep me down. I believe if he REALLY wanted to, he would have raped me, but I guess he got his pleasure out of feeling on my private body parts. All the while this was going on, I was in a mentally abusive relationship with my ex-boyfriend. He made me feel worthless and unimportant. Everything was more important to him than me.
I've only told one person about my uncle, but my parents know about the first guy. I never told anyone about my uncle because I couldn't imagine how horrible his family would feel. It would destroy his wife and kids. Those sexual assaults have caused me to have major trust issues, and some other problems but I'm trying to move on from all that. I have a wonderful fiancée that I tell everything too, and he is truly my savior. He knows about everything and supports me when I'm feeling down. I'm very grateful for him because we have saved each other in many ways.