Sexual Abuse, Assault, and Rape Awareness
Child Molestation Survivor
I was born September 03, 1993 in Madison, Tennessee. After I was born my dad didn't stay with my mother and they were never married. So, I lived with my mom till I was about 11. My mom had me at a young age so she wasn't there for me the way a mother should be. She done drugs and that is where all her money went that she did get. This means she couldn't provide me with what I needed in life. She was never there to spend quality time with me while I was growing up. My grandparents which where my dad's parents where always the ones buying me what I wanted and needed while I lived with my mother. They never turned their back on me and they were always a phone call away. So when I was old enough to realize that she wasn't the person she needed to be for me in my childhood. I decided to move to Milledgeville, Georgia with my father. I didn't know my dad that well, but I had seen him a couple times when my grandparents would come and visit me. When I moved in with my father he was in a relationship with a young woman and I was the only child for about a year. After a year a lot changed for me there and I started to get unhappy with living with my father, but I knew I couldn't set myself back into my mothers environment. About a year and a half of after I began living with my dad my step-mom grandfather started molesting me. This situation went on for about three years while I lived with my dad. I was always scared to tell my dad and step-mom because I knew they would tell me I was lying. I was also scared to tell anybody else even though my abuser never threatened to hurt me nor any of my family. My abuser would throw me hundred dollars bills on holidays that nobody else got and to this day I still haven't spent that money. I gave it all to my dad and he was never smart enough to realize that nobody else got that much money the way I did. During, August 2009 I moved back to Tennessee with my mother. She had changed a little bit and before I moved back she was trying to come back into my life so I thought that she was completely different and better person. She was in some ways, but not all. ): One day my mother and I got into a big argument and I made a response of saying "I am only here for two reasons and that is for you and I was trying to get away from something". It took my mom a couple days to realize what I had said. So after them couple days she came to me and asked me what I meant. It took me awhile to tell her, but I finally got the nerve to because I thought to myself if I don't get this out. I am just letting this man get away with this and he could hurt more of my family members the way he did me and that is exactly what went through my mind. Immediately my mom called my grandparents and told them because they were always the ones here for me. The talked to my dad about it and he told me over the phone that he didn't know if he could believe me because I have lied about other things. So it kinda hurt me that my own dad couldn't back his daughter on this kind of situation. This is when everything got going. I started counseling in Tennessee and that is when everything started so I really couldn't talk about it, but now that I have a feeling that I can be SURVIVOR and work through this strongly. I am willing to explain myself. Yes, I have lost my dad and I don’t know if I could ever forgive him for what he said. So I lived with my mother a couple more months and while I was there she still was proceeding with drugs, but she was there for me a little bit more than she was during my younger years. She was helping and talking me through this problem every time it would get on my mind and I would get upset. Then my mom, her boyfriend and I started having problems. We were arguing all the time and everything ended being my fault. One weekend I decided to go off and spend the weekend with my mother's dad. Well, the Sunday I was supposed to come home my mother went to jail. I got in touch with my grandparents and they came and got me from Tennessee and took me back to Georgia with them to live because I didn't want to live with my dad. I knew he still sees and talks to my abuser and I didn't want to be around that anymore. I was trying to get myself away from it. So my mother signed temporary custody to my grandparents and my dad will not sign me over for some odd reason. So now I am living with my grandparents in a little town called Twin City, Georgia. I am happy, but now I am 15 and everything that has happened to me in life is holding me at this complete stop and its all catching up with me. I have made mistakes this past couple weeks and things are also being blamed on me that aren't me fault. All of it is coming in between me and my family. I feel like everything I affecting me now and I have lost and gained so much in life I don't know what way to go anymore. I am just ready to survive all of this and start over with a new fresh life. I regret a lot of things I have done and I am also proud of myself for saying and doing a lot of things I done. I am trying to be a SURVIVOR.