Andrea Burch's Story


My Story
-Andrea Burch



My name is Andrea Burch and I am a survivor. For four years I put up with mental, physical, and sexual abuse from my husband. I finally found the courage to leave and start over. My story starts when I was fifteen. I met a man I thought was really great. He was five years older than I was. Things went well for a while. We had some normal problems, but then he told me he would love me even more if I would have a baby with him. I decided that it was a good idea. So we had a baby and got married. Things started to change. He was very demanding about sex. He would call me names over every little thing I did. He refused to work. He broke all the collectibles I had from when I lived at home. Smashed them one day in a fit of rage. He started throwing things and punching the walls. The name calling got worse, as did the pressure to have sex. Most of the time I would have sex just so he would leave me alone. As stress and tensions grew so did his temper. He was controlling. He refused to go to counseling or admit there was a problem. When I was eight months pregnant with my second child I almost got up the courage to leave. I had had it. We had had cops at our house numerous times due to the police being called on us for the fighting. The cops ended up arresting him but I refused to press charges. One night I was in front of his computer and wouldn't move. I was pregnant and sore. He got angry and slammed my head into the keyboard as hard as he could. I had had it. I called my parents. However I decided that it would be best to return home. I was eighteen and was pregnant with my second child. I was convinced that I could not do it alone. Things grew worse. He finally got fed up with just pressuring me for sex. He decided to get me as drunk as possible so he could have sex. When he got tired of that he decided to take it. He waited until I was asleep. He started with his hands between my legs. When I woke up I told him to stop and he just rolled on top of me. I tried to push him off and close my legs he forced them open and put his hands around my neck. I started crying. I begged and pleaded. I told him to stop and please don't do this. He just kept going. He put his hands on my neck and I felt him enter me. I cried out. He kept going. When he was done I ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I threw up. I sat in there crying until I couldn't do it anymore. I came out and he acted like nothing happened. I was afraid to sleep in bed at night. A few nights later I decided it probably wouldn't happen again. I was wrong. He did it a second time. This time I left after he went to work. I decided I couldn't do it again. I never pressed charges. I didn't think it would hold up in court. That it would be a simple case of he said she said. I also figured because we were married that it wouldn't be considered rape. I want to let women know they are not alone. Even if you are married you do not have to have sex. Your husband has no right to just take it from you. You have every right to say no. I still have nightmares and memories of what happened. I feel angry, like part of me is gone. I feel like a victim and out of control. It is to late for me to press charges. I am in the middle of finding counseling and a support group. This is not going to define my life. I will and can move on. I am strong and will not be defined by what happened any longer.













Stories from Survivors


HOME